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spring

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Children Super Excited for the Return of Christmas

April 12, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After an unexpected blizzard this week, children across southern Manitoba woke up to a blanket of snow and began frantically filling out their Christmas wish lists. “Christmas! It’s Christmas,” exclaimed little Sally Doerksen, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba’s Most Progressive Mennonite Man Moves His Clock Forward an Hour

March 10, 2019 Andrew

REINHOF, MB A man from the small hamlet of Reinhof is being hailed as a “free-thinking radical” after moving his clock forward an hour last night. “What can I say,” said Mr. Reimer. “I’ve always […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Manages to Keep Windshield Clean for a Record Five Minutes

March 17, 2018 Andrew

GIMLI, MB Local man Olaf Einarrson, 47, of Gimli, managed to keep the windshield of his Honda Odyssey relatively clean for almost a full five minutes this morning. Although not officially confirmed, many are saying […]

The Daily Bonnet

Gangs of Rebellious Seniors Invade Steinbach on Their ‘Kick Ass Harleys’

April 8, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Ever since the snow melted this spring, mobility scooters have been out in full force in Steinbach, as gangs of wily Mennonite seniors take over the city. “We were too badass for the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Spring Means Courting Season for Eligible Mennonites

March 22, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Ahhh, spring, the time of year to haul out the rubber boots and pick rocks out of the field…and possibly attract a suitor in the process. Yes, indeed, spring is courting season for Mennonites. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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