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The Daily Bonnet

Man Launches Kickstarter Campaign for Crokinole iPhone App

July 18, 2016 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB As increasing number of Mennonite seniors take to occupying their time with crokinole, local man Abe Kehler, is hoping to lure them over to a more modern version of the game. “You just knips the pieces […]

Unger Games

Hospital Entrance to be Converted into Skate Park

June 29, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB As part of a long-term plan to make Steinbach more skateboard-friendly, the local hospital ramp is currently undergoing construction to be converted into a massive skate park. “Increased hospital access for skateboarders is […]

Unger Games

Televangelist Predicts the Winnipeg Blue Bombers to Win the 2016 Grey Cup

June 24, 2016 Andrew

ROLLAND HILLS, MI Crackpot television prophet Dr. Jack von Empel has recently predicted that the lowly Winnipeg Blue Bombers, who play their home opener today, will win the Grey Cup in 2016. “I really like what […]

Unger Games

NHL Announces Expansion to Tiny Mennonite Village

June 22, 2016 Andrew

NEUBERGTHAL, MB Commissioner Gary Bettman was in southern Manitoba on Wednesday to announce the expansion of the NHL to Las Vegas, Nevada and also to the tiny Mennonite village of Neubergthal, just south of Altona. […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Hockey Players Forbidden from Completing ‘Gordie Howe Hat Trick’

June 12, 2016 Andrew

WALDHEIM, SK A minor hockey association in a predominantly Mennonite town has decided to officially forbid players from completing the infamous ‘Gordie Howe Hat Trick.’ “We don’t mind people going two-thirds of the way into the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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