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Unger Games

Eagles Introduce New Uniform for Brazil NFL Game

September 7, 2024 Andrew

SAO PAOLO, BRAZIL Banned from wearing green, the Philadelphia Eagles have unveiled new uniforms for their upcoming game in Sao Paolo this week. “The feather boas might be a bit of a hindrance,” said ESPN […]

Unger Games

Team That Wins Barely Half Their Games Clearly the Best in the League

September 6, 2024 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA The Phillies are in class by themselves this year after winning a little bit over half their games so far this year. “I’ve never see a team dominate like this before,” said baseball […]

Unger & Thirst

French Pole Vaulter Signs Farmer Sausage Endorsement Deal

August 9, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE A mishap on the pole vault may have cost Anthony Ammirati a medal, but he’s more than made up for it in lucrative endorsement deals. Just this week, Ammirati inked a $12 million […]

Unger Games

Olympic Village Modelled After Mennonite Heritage Village, Athletes to Sleep in Sod Huts

August 3, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE The Paris Olympics just-so-happens to coincide with Pioneer Days at the Mennonite Heritage Village in Steinbach and, so, to give Olympians that authentic Mennonite experience, all athletes are expected to sleep in a […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Man Medals in Synchronized Baptisms

July 31, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE It was a historic moment for the Canadian Olympic team this week as Rylan Wiens and diving partner Nathan Zsombor-Murray won a bronze medal. The moment did not go unnoticed by the folks […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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