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Unger Games

Blue Jays Grounds Crew Scrambles to Clean Up All the Friendship Bracelets Remaining from Last Fall’s Taylor Swift Concerts

March 27, 2025 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Blue Jays staff have been working overtime getting Rogers Centre in tip top shape for their opening day tilt against the Baltimore Orioles. Most pressing for the staff was cleaning up the hundreds […]

Unger Conviction

Magnus Carlsen Booted Out of Church for Wearing Jeans

December 30, 2024 Andrew

WATERTOWN, NY Norwegian chess superstar Magnus Carlsen had decided to try his hand at a Dutch Blitz tournament up in Watertown, New York this week, when he realized his attire was not suitable for the […]

Unger Games

Mike Tyson to Fight Mennonite Man Named Jake Pauls

November 15, 2024 Andrew

FRESNO, CA A paperwork mixup has boxing legend Mike Tyson set to square up against Fresno area farmer Jake Pauls tonight. “Yeah, when I got the note in my church mailbox, I thought, ‘oba, it […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Player Suspended for Calling Opponent a Lutheran

November 14, 2024 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Colin Dueck of the Aylmer SpitZoats hockey team has been suspended until the end of the month due to a particularly heated chirp he threw at an opposing player. “He called him a […]

Unger Games

Blumenort ‘Menno Knights’ Forced to Change Team Name

November 13, 2024 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB 6-time EM Cup champions the Blumenort Menno Knights are no more. This after the label “Mennonite” (or anything close to it) was labelled “offensive” by hockey authorities this week. “We’re going to think […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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