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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Rents Colour TV to Watch Grey Cup

November 26, 2017 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Mr. Peter W. Goossen of Linden, Alberta has decided to splurge on the rental of a huge 22 inch colour television to enjoy the Grey Cup this afternoon with his family. “We’re all […]

Unger Conviction

Bench Clearing Brawl at Mennonite Church Hockey Tournament

November 15, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A massive bench-clearing brawl involving more than twenty players, four coaches, and dozens of spectators broke out at the annual MBEM hockey tournament this weekend. The brawl was reportedly triggered after it was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Pool Table Discovered in Church Elder’s Basement

November 7, 2017 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Mr. Klaas Reimer has been asked to hand in his letter of resignation from the local Mennonite church board this week after a pool table was discovered in the basement of his Reinland […]

Unger Games

Toronto Maple Leafs Pursue First Goal Since 1967

October 4, 2017 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Expectations for the Toronto Maple Leafs are quite high this year. Having not scored a goal in fifty years, fans are hoping that this will finally be the year that the curse is […]

Unger Games

NFL Team to Hold ‘Conscientious Objector Appreciation Day’

September 8, 2017 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA After decades of going out of their way to associate American football with the United States military, one NFL team has decided to buck that trend and honour Conscientious Objectors, including members of Mennonites, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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