The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

sports

Unger Games

IOC Bans Mennonites from 2018 Winter Olympics

December 6, 2017 Andrew

PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA The International Olympic Committee announced on Tuesday that Mennonites “and other Anabaptists” will be banned from competing in the 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Olympics. The IOC believes that schmaunt fat and formavorcht give […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Rents Colour TV to Watch Grey Cup

November 26, 2017 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Mr. Peter W. Goossen of Linden, Alberta has decided to splurge on the rental of a huge 22 inch colour television to enjoy the Grey Cup this afternoon with his family. “We’re all […]

Unger Conviction

Bench Clearing Brawl at Mennonite Church Hockey Tournament

November 15, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A massive bench-clearing brawl involving more than twenty players, four coaches, and dozens of spectators broke out at the annual MBEM hockey tournament this weekend. The brawl was reportedly triggered after it was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Pool Table Discovered in Church Elder’s Basement

November 7, 2017 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Mr. Klaas Reimer has been asked to hand in his letter of resignation from the local Mennonite church board this week after a pool table was discovered in the basement of his Reinland […]

Unger Games

Toronto Maple Leafs Pursue First Goal Since 1967

October 4, 2017 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Expectations for the Toronto Maple Leafs are quite high this year. Having not scored a goal in fifty years, fans are hoping that this will finally be the year that the curse is […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 32 33 34 … 41 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Local Man’s Biggest Fear is Showing His Fear
    November 6, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Refuses to Watch Hockey Until the Oilers Stop Streaking
    January 27, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Leaves Record $0.10 Tip at Local Diner
    June 13, 2016
  • Canadians Excited for the Arrival of Beige Season, the Most Beautiful Time of Year
    March 22, 2025
  • Mennonite Man Switches Between English and Plautdietsch a Record 3000 Times in a Single Conversation
    October 29, 2017

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved