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Unger Games

Hockey Player Suspended 5 Games for Calling Jonathan Toews a ‘Mennonite’

November 12, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After an unseemly incident in London, Ontario this week, the NHL has decided to ban players from calling Mennonites Mennonites. “What’s next? Someone’s going to call Jonathan Toews a Mennonite? Oba nay!” said […]

Unger Games

Riders Fans in Western Manitoba Vote to Join Saskatchewan

November 10, 2024 Andrew

KOLA, MB A separatist movement had emerged in Western Manitoba, with many folks in that part of the province being Riders fans for some reason. “Well, yeah, you know, we basically live in Saskatchewan already,” […]

Unger Games

Tabor Bluejays Send 20 Players Down to the Farm Team in Toronto

October 10, 2024 Andrew

HILLSBORO, KS A new agreement between the Tabor College Bluejays and the City of Toronto, Canada will have slumping players sent down to play at the Rogers Centre. “We had a couple relief pitchers who […]

Unger Games

Eagles Introduce New Uniform for Brazil NFL Game

September 7, 2024 Andrew

SAO PAOLO, BRAZIL Banned from wearing green, the Philadelphia Eagles have unveiled new uniforms for their upcoming game in Sao Paolo this week. “The feather boas might be a bit of a hindrance,” said ESPN […]

Unger Games

Team That Wins Barely Half Their Games Clearly the Best in the League

September 6, 2024 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA The Phillies are in class by themselves this year after winning a little bit over half their games so far this year. “I’ve never see a team dominate like this before,” said baseball […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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