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Unger Games

Mennonite Player Suspended for Calling Opponent a Lutheran

November 14, 2024 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Colin Dueck of the Aylmer SpitZoats hockey team has been suspended until the end of the month due to a particularly heated chirp he threw at an opposing player. “He called him a […]

Unger Games

Blumenort ‘Menno Knights’ Forced to Change Team Name

November 13, 2024 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB 6-time EM Cup champions the Blumenort Menno Knights are no more. This after the label “Mennonite” (or anything close to it) was labelled “offensive” by hockey authorities this week. “We’re going to think […]

Unger Games

Hockey Player Suspended 5 Games for Calling Jonathan Toews a ‘Mennonite’

November 12, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After an unseemly incident in London, Ontario this week, the NHL has decided to ban players from calling Mennonites Mennonites. “What’s next? Someone’s going to call Jonathan Toews a Mennonite? Oba nay!” said […]

Unger Games

Riders Fans in Western Manitoba Vote to Join Saskatchewan

November 10, 2024 Andrew

KOLA, MB A separatist movement had emerged in Western Manitoba, with many folks in that part of the province being Riders fans for some reason. “Well, yeah, you know, we basically live in Saskatchewan already,” […]

Unger Games

Tabor Bluejays Send 20 Players Down to the Farm Team in Toronto

October 10, 2024 Andrew

HILLSBORO, KS A new agreement between the Tabor College Bluejays and the City of Toronto, Canada will have slumping players sent down to play at the Rogers Centre. “We had a couple relief pitchers who […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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