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Unger Games

Mennonite Choir to Perform at Next Year’s Super Bowl

February 4, 2019 Andrew

MIAMI, FL After a dreadful half-time performance by crap-band Maroon 5 at Super Bowl LIII, the National Football League has announced that “from now on, the only entertainment you’re gonna get is a few old […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Attends His First Vanapag Jats Game

December 8, 2018 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB Local man, Abraham Krahn of North Kildonan, was thrilled to get some free tickets to see his favourite hockey team the Vanapag Jats in action last night against the St. Louis Blues. “Its […]

Unger Games

Calgarians Vote Not to Host Massive $5 Billion Faspa

November 14, 2018 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Calgary has spoken. They do not want to host the 2026 quadrennial winter Faspa. In a plebiscite this week, Calgary voted overwhelmingly in favour of just ordering in Chinese food on that Sunday […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Hockey Fans Yell ‘True North’ During Hymn Sing

October 10, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB As the Winnipeg Jets played their home opener last night, Mennonite hockey fans across the province are excited for the upcoming season. Some were so excited that they spontaneously yelled “True North” in […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Eaton’s Emm Kjalla’ to Re-open Under Bell MTS Place

September 21, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mennonites across southern Manitoba were saddling up their horses in anticipation of the grand opening of the new bargain basement below the current hockey arena. The new ‘Eaton’s Emm Kjalla’ marks a triumphant […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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