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Unger Games

Patriots Release Tom Brady to Pursue CFL Opportunities

January 7, 2020 Andrew

BOSTON, MA After proving himself for close to twenty years on the smaller American field, it looks like former Patriots quarterback Tom Brady will finally be getting his shot at the CFL. “We’ve had scouts […]

Unger Games

Strangely Content Bombers Fans Don’t Ask for Any Presents This Year

December 21, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Long-suffering fans of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers have decided not to ask for a single thing for Christmas this year, since they already got their presents back in November. “I asked my Earl […]

Unger Games

American Man Claims to be Huge ‘Hackey’ Fan

December 6, 2019 Andrew

BOSTON, MA Local man Darren Smith, 45, is starting to really annoy his friends by talking about the Canadian sport of “ice hackey” all the time. “I’ve really gotten into hackey lately,” said Smith. “Man, […]

Unger Games

Rogers Demands Sincere-Looking Half-Hearted Apology from Don Cherry

November 12, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Executives at Rogers have had absolutely enough of Don Cherry’s controversial remarks and are demanding that the 85-year-old hockey commentator “meet them half-way” and give “like, you know, at least a sincere-looking half-hearted […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Seniors Destroy Team of Youngsters on Pickleball Court

September 26, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The team of Peter Heppner, 78, and Lois Brandt, 81, totally destroyed some young novices on the pickleball court at the Seniors Centre this week. “No one beats a Mennonite senior at pickleball,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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