Unger Games
Argos Destroy Patriots 28-5
BOSTON, MA In a rare cross-border match last night, the CFL’s Toronto Argonauts embarrassed the New England Patriots by a score of 28 to 5. “We were down by three touchdowns in the 7th inning. […]
sports
The Daily Bonnet
Mennonite Man’s Twenty Waved Off After Distinct Kicking Motion
CALGARY, AB With just minutes left to play in game 5 of the Alberta crokinole finals, it seemed that Calgary’s Blake Kornelsen had flicked the twenty of his life. However, after consultation with the video […]
The Daily Bonnet
Which Mennonite Colleges and Universities Made the ‘Final Four’?
BLUFFTON, OH Every spring, Mennonite post-secondary institutions gather in Bluffton, Ohio to drink decaf and argue about seemingly trivial differences in theology. The event begins with dozens of school, but eventually the best debaters make […]
Unger Games
Winnipeg Jets Sign Top Free Agent Enforcer Will Smith
WINNIPEG, MB Desperately needing to shore up their physical game if they have any shot at the playoffs, the lowly Winnipeg Jets inked the hottest enforcer currently available – Will Smith. “I’m not sure how […]
Unger Games
Angry Canadian Trucker Mistaken for Soccer Fan
OTTAWA, ON An angry Canadian trucker who had just returned home to southern Manitoba after attending the rally in Ottawa, was mistaken for a diehard soccer fan this week. “Go Canada Go!” shouted local soccer […]