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snacks

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Attends Super Bowl Party Just for the Snacks

February 12, 2023 Andrew

AKRON, PA Even before the opening kickoff, Mrs. Funk had already filled three Tupperware containers with snacks at the West Akron Mennonite Church Super Bowl party. “What a beautiful array of dainties this year,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Second Bag of Old Dutch Chips Discovered in Box

May 15, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Area Mennonites are calling it a miracle after a second bag of onion and garlic “chaps” were discovered in an Old Dutch box this weekend. “All these years I never looked past that […]

Unger & Thirst

Panic Strikes Mennonite Picnic as they Run Out of La Cocina

October 5, 2021 Andrew

STE. ANNE, MB The tri-annual Koop family picnic was brought to a standstill this weekend after three bags of La Cocina were devoured in short order and there was still salsa left. “Diewel! Waut de […]

Unger & Thirst

Old Dutch Releases New ‘Rapple Chaps’

October 12, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mennonites across the Canadian prairies have been consuming significant quantities of Old Dutch chaps for decades. Among their favourite variety are the ridged chips that are good for dipping. Finally the snack has […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Eats All Her Popcorn Before the Movie Even Starts

February 4, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local woman, Mrs. Unrau, 41, arrived early to see Little Women for the fifth time and decided to order a bag of popcorn. Sadly for Mrs. Unrau, however, the popcorn in question was completely […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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