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singing

Unger Conviction

Grandma Loewen’s Vibrato Triggers Massive Earthquake

May 8, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC A massive 7.2 earthquake struck the Fraser Valley this past Sunday. Local seismologists have traced the source of the quake to Mrs. Martha Loewen’s uncontrollable vibrato singing at the local Mennonite church. “We […]

Unger Conviction

Special Number is Not All That Special

February 8, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Every time the Friesen sisters come up to the front to do their zany rendition of ‘Power in the Blood’ congregants of East Altona Brethren Church are left questioning what exactly was so […]

Unger Conviction

Hymn 606 to Undergo Major Overhaul

January 25, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN After dozens of complaints that the same old Hymn 606 just wasn’t cutting it anymore, the Mennonite Church has decided to dramatically overhaul the lyrics and melody of the famous hymn. “People were just […]

Unger Conviction

Confused Mennonite Grandma Sings Men’s Part on ‘Joy to the World’

December 20, 2016 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB A well-meaning but slightly disoriented Mennonite woman accidentally sang the men’s part during a Christmas caroling event this past week. “I’m really sorry,” said Mrs. Giesbrecht, 84, of Blumenort. “I’ve sung that song […]

Unger Conviction

Parents Punish Misbehaving Children By Forcing Them To Attend Annual Saengerfest

December 14, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area parents Pete and Carol Penner were so “completely fed-up” with the “bad attitudes” exhibited by their three young children during dinner time that they decided to inflict upon them the strictest punishment known […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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