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singing

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Discards Hymnals Because No One Can Read Music Anymore

September 15, 2019 Andrew

NEWTON, KS The Second Mennonite Church of Newton, Kansas has decided to ditch their hymnals after it was discovered that not a single person in the congregation could read sheet music anymore. “Oh, sure, Mrs. […]

Unger Conviction

Long Lost Hymn 606 Discovered on Page 118

June 10, 2019 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA Mennonites are in celebration this week after a beloved hymn has been uncovered in a little used section of the hymnal. After a decade long investigation into the whereabouts of Hymn 606, investigators […]

Unger Conviction

Local Mennonite Church Becomes First Ever to Make it All the Way Through ‘Der Friedensfürst’ Without Messing Up

December 22, 2018 Andrew

WITMARSUM, BRAZIL The EMMBC church of Witmarsum, Brazil is in celebration tonight after becoming the first Mennonite church ever to successfully make it through the complex four-part harmonies of ‘Der Friedensfürst‘ without a single screw […]

Unger Conviction

Grandchildren Completely Baffled by Oma’s Gesangbuch

December 16, 2018 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB Oma was very excited to sing out of the old German Gesangbuch with all the grandkids at the Plett Christmas gathering this Sunday, but soon realized things weren’t going to go nearly as smoothly […]

Unger Conviction

Fight Breaks Out Between Winkler’s Top Two Fäasenjas 

December 14, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Two of Winkler’s most noted Fäasenjas broke out into a fist fight this Sunday at the Christmas service. They were right in the middle of “Lobt Gott Ihr Christen Allzugleich,” when Mr. Wiebe slugged […]

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