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seniors

The Daily Bonnet

Gangs of Rebellious Seniors Invade Steinbach on Their ‘Kick Ass Harleys’

April 8, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Ever since the snow melted this spring, mobility scooters have been out in full force in Steinbach, as gangs of wily Mennonite seniors take over the city. “We were too badass for the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Kornelsen School Reunion Sparks Old Flames

March 30, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The old Kornelsen School, which was open in Steinbach from 1914-1964, held a reunion this past week for former students. The lone attendees at the reunion were Betsy Friesen and Art Toews, who originally met […]

The Daily Bonnet

My Grandma Doesn’t Believe This Photo Will Reach Around the World

March 10, 2017 Andrew

My dear old grandmother, Aganeta Penner, doesn’t believe this photo will reach around the world, so to teach her about Internet safety, I’ve decided to run a social experiment to show her just how far […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Grandmother Reacts With Disgust to Granddaughter’s Top

September 17, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mary Esau, 72, of Altona, Manitoba was completely disgusted this past week by her granddaughter’s striped tank-top and skinny jeans. Lindsay Esau, 23, had taken time out of her busy University schedule to drive […]

The Daily Bonnet

Grandma Rescued After Literally Knitting Herself Into a Corner

August 7, 2016 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Martha Toews, 91, of Kitchener was rescued by emergency personnel this weekend from her apartment at Greenhaven Manor after she had inadvertently knitted herself into a corner that she could not escape. “That’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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