The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

seniors

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Seniors Destroy Team of Youngsters on Pickleball Court

September 26, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The team of Peter Heppner, 78, and Lois Brandt, 81, totally destroyed some young novices on the pickleball court at the Seniors Centre this week. “No one beats a Mennonite senior at pickleball,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

New FaceApp Just Makes Everyone Look Like a Mennonite

July 18, 2019 Andrew

ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA A popular new social media app called FaceApp allows people to add wrinkles, grey hair, and a long beard to see what they’ll look like decades into the future. “Basically they’re turning […]

The Daily Bonnet

Last Remaining Man at Senior’s Home Has Women Scrambling for His Attention

January 16, 2019 Andrew

AYLMER, ON At 88 years young, Mr. George Wiebe is the last man standing at the Aylmer Menno Home. While he does occasionally miss the chance to talk about the price of hogs these days […]

Unger Suspicion

Court Rules 69-Year-Old Dutch Man is Actually a ‘Whiny Little Toddler’

December 4, 2018 Andrew

ARNHEM, NETHERLANDS A Dutch court has ruled today that local senior Milan Ratelbrand, 69, is actually legally “one-and-half years old, or two at best.” Ratelbrand had sued the government to have his age lowered by […]

Unger & Thirst

Custodian at Local Senior’s Home Can’t Get the Smell of Roll Kuchen Out of the Hallway

September 13, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The hallways at Menno Garden Manor still smell strongly of cooking oil after half a dozen women all decided to fry up some roll kuchen on the very same day. Mr. Pankratz, a […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3 4 … 7 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Friesens Report the Reimers for Having an Illegal Gathering
    March 26, 2021
  • Mennonite Man Launches New Streaming Service Called “Schputify”
    September 28, 2022
  • Lord Blesses Mennonites with Massive Farmer Sausage Smoke Shack
    June 9, 2023
  • Steinbachers Claim Massive Grey Obelisk has Been there for Decades
    December 6, 2020
  • Mennonite Church Shuns Snowman For Being ‘Immodestly Dressed’
    March 27, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved