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politics

Unger Suspicion

Conservatives Run Actual Donkey in Mennonite Town, Still Confident of Victory

October 17, 2019 Andrew

KLEINESCHANTZENFELD, SK So confident in the partisan loyalty of Mennonite voters, the Conservative Party of Canada ran a literal donkey in the small Mennonite town of Kleineschantzenfeld and still expect to win 87% of the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Heated Political Discussion Leads to Brawl at Friesen Thanksgiving Gathering

October 13, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Uncle Henry, 71, had his own nephew Peter, 20, in a headlock this Sunday after Mrs. Friesen didn’t keep a tight enough rein on the political discussions around the dinner table. “I should […]

Unger Suspicion

Desperate to Woo Trudeau Supporters, Maxime Bernier Renames New Party ‘The Peoplekind Party of Canada’

October 11, 2019 Andrew

GATINEAU, QC Eager to move up a bit in the polls, sixth-place Maxime Bernier has decided a little tweaking of his party name just might do the trick. “I can’t figure it out. For some […]

Unger & Thirst

Green Party Photoshops Yerba Mate into Elizabeth May’s Hand

October 7, 2019 Andrew

SIDNEY, BC The Green Party admitted in a press conference this week to having altered a photo of leader Elizabeth May to make it look like she was consuming yerba mate from a gourd. The […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Residents Petition City to Build Massive 640 Acre Parking Lot Downtown

October 7, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A consortium of concerned citizens has petitioned city council to abandon their plans for a state-of-the-art events centre downtown and instead build a massive 640 acre parking lot. “I’m hoping this gets approval, […]

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