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politics

Unger the Influence

MP Candice Bergen Steps Down to Return to Glamorous Life in Hollywood

February 3, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB After fifteen years representing the good folks of Portage Lisgar in the House of Commons, MP Candice Bergen has stepped down to return to the set of hit 1990s sitcom Murphy Brown. “As […]

Unger & Thirst

Biden Weighs Nationwide Ban on Gassy Mennonite Food

January 13, 2023 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Republicans are up in arms this week as the Biden administration is reportedly considering banning “gassy Mennonite food like schmaunt fat, formavorscht, and all those fried onions they like to put on the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Couple Plasters their Refrigerator with Christmas Cards from Politicians

December 7, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local couple Pete and Anne Dueck have plastered their refrigerator with their most precious holiday items – Christmas cards from area politicians. “Ahhh, Ted, you shouldn’t have,” said Pete, scrambling to find a […]

Unger Suspicion

Trudeau Ensures Mennonites Bill C-21 Will Not Affect Their Right to Bare Arms

December 5, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Mennonites across Canada breathed a sigh of relief today, after Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that Bill C-21 is being carefully reviewed to ensure it will not impede on their right to show […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Communities Eager to Put a Siemens in Charge

November 12, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC (with files from WINKLER, MB) There is a growing trend in traditionally-Mennonite communities across Canada – putting a Siemens in charge. This month civic elections in both Abbotsford and Winkler sent a Siemens to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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