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politics

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Runs for Mayor of Vanapag

October 24, 2022 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB Local man Glen Loeppky, 64, has just announced he is running for mayor of Vanapag and, if he can get everyone at the Portage Avenue Church to vote for him, believes he has […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Pastor Barely Outlasts UK Prime Minister Liz Truss

October 22, 2022 Andrew

LONDON, UK The United Kingdom has adopted the tried and true “Mennonite leadership model” of tossing out a leader after just a few weeks in charge. “We’ve been looking at systems across the globe and […]

Unger Suspicion

Alberta Premier Calls Shirtless Dude at 7-11 “Most Persecuted Man in All of Human History”

October 13, 2022 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Local man Darryl Klassen of Edmonton, who was kicked out of a local 7-11 store this week for wearing nothing but a pair of gym shorts and a mullet, has been called “the […]

Unger Suspicion

Hundreds of Canadian Politicians to “Mourn the Queen” at the Lake this Monday While Everyone Else Works

September 14, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Politicians across Canada are so heartbroken over the death of Her Majesty that they’ve decided that what they really need is a nice long weekend while everyone else is working. “Ahh, it sure […]

Unger Suspicion

“Oops, My Bad,” Say Democrats Who Forgot to Codify Roe v. Wade for Almost 50 Years

June 26, 2022 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Crocodile tears were flowing at Democratic Party headquarters this week, as the men in charge of the party, realized that, yet again, they’d been paying lip service to an idea without doing anything […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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