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pickles

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Banished From Town After Choosing the Sweet Pickles

August 1, 2022 Andrew

TOFIELD, AB Area man Todd Sawatzky has lost the respect of everyone in all of Tofield this week after he piled his plate with bread and butter pickles instead of the good ones. “Waut de […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sours the Mood at Local Funeral by Hoarding All the Pickles and Decaf

October 24, 2020 Andrew

GREENLAND, MB Thousands of Toewses descended on Greenland, Manitoba this week for the latest Toews funeral and were shocked to discover the absence of dill pickles. “Okay, so I’ve got my cubed cheese, deli meat […]

Unger & Thirst

Preservative Party of Canada to Select New Leader

August 21, 2020 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After the resignation of a jar of Oma Friesen’s Dills a few months ago, the Preservative Party of Canada is currently voting-by-mail on a new leader. In the running are a bowl of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Seniors Destroy Team of Youngsters on Pickleball Court

September 26, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The team of Peter Heppner, 78, and Lois Brandt, 81, totally destroyed some young novices on the pickleball court at the Seniors Centre this week. “No one beats a Mennonite senior at pickleball,” […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Daredevil to Consume Pickles and Milk Together

October 28, 2018 Andrew

RANDOLPH, MB Local man Joel Toews, 23, is known throughout Randolph (nee Chortitz) for his reckless abandon and death-defying stunts. But his most impressive stunt is yet to come as, this weekend, Joel will be […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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