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pennsylvania dutch

The Daily Bonnet

“Mock us, please!” Pennsylvania Mennonites Demand Equal Treatment by the Daily Bonnet

November 15, 2019 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA Thousands of Pennsylvania Mennonites petitioned the Daily Bonnet this week to be “more inclusive” of their particular idiosyncrasies that they claim are just ripe for mockery. “That website is far too Canadian!” yelled […]

The Daily Bonnet

Anthropologists Shocked! Russian Mennonites aren’t really Russian and Pennsylvania Dutch aren’t really Dutch

November 7, 2019 Andrew

WELLINGTON, NEW ZEALAND Anthropological researchers from the University of New Zealand have recently made a shocking discovery about two prominent groups of Mennonites, the so-called Russians and the Pennsylvania Dutch. “Neither one of them are […]

Unger Suspicion

A Glossary of Pennsylvania Dutch Profanity

November 22, 2017 Andrew

Believe it or not, there are times when even the Amish and Swiss Mennonites get frustrated. The wind might wreak havoc on your barn-raising plans, or Elder Hershberger might interfere with your courtship of Maria […]

The Daily Bonnet

10 Dutch Blitz Rules You Probably Didn’t Know About

November 13, 2017 Andrew

As Mennonites, we all play Dutch Blitz, but often the rules vary from family to family. Unfortunately, all Dutch Blitz rulebooks were lost sometime in the mid-1970s. I think it might’ve been during that extended […]

Quizzes

Test Your Knowledge of Pennsylvania Dutch!

August 15, 2017 Andrew

The Daily Bonnet has created this fun quiz to test your knowledge of the Pennsylvania Dutch language. Let’s see how you do. (You can also test your knowledge of Plautdietsch, spoken by Russian Mennonites here.) […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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