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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Unfazed by Fly on Her Face the Entire Service

October 8, 2020 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Pastor Rebecca Engbrecht, 43, of North Saskatoon Mennonite Church preached through the entire Book of Lamentations this past Sunday without even noticing there was a fly on her forehead the entire time. “Wow, […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Minister Excommunicates Entire Congregation

October 7, 2020 Andrew

NUMIDIA, PA Minister Miller of West Side Numidia Mennonite Church has been excommunicating an errant couple every week for the past three years and just this Sunday he realized that he was the only one […]

Unger Conviction

MKs Totally Destroy PKs in First Annual Church Kid Olympics

July 24, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB MKs from across the world flew into Winnipeg this month, and after quarantining for two weeks, were ready to “absolutely destroy” the team of PKs who had been assembled for the first annual […]

Unger Conviction

Trudeau to Mennonite Pastors: ‘Stop Speaking So Moistly’

April 8, 2020 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Finally somebody said it. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau told reporters today what those of us in the first few rows at church have always been thinking, “Dear Pastor Dave, please stop speaking […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Super Excited as His Live-Streamed Sermon Gets Three Whole Views

March 22, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Pastor Dave is super pumped about the response he got from his live-streamed sermon this morning, which had three views and another viewer who left the live-stream halfway through. “Quite frankly, it’s better […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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