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Unger Conviction

Breaking! Pastor Dan’s Been Getting All His Insights from the Footnotes in His ‘Ryrie Study Bible’

April 8, 2021 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Drone footage hovering above the pulpit this week has revealed that Pastor Dan’s been getting all this spiritual insights from the footnotes in his Ryrie Study Bible. “I feel we’ve been duped. From […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Career Fair Offers Two Options: Preacher or Farmer

January 27, 2021 Andrew

LINDEN, AB The Mennonite Career Fair of Southern Alberta met in Linden this week to offer graduating students a wide range of job options: preacher or, even, farmer. “First we get the young people to […]

Unger Conviction

Congregation Forced to Repeat “Good Morning” Over and Over Until it’s Loud Enough for the Pastor

October 20, 2020 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Darryl Friesen, 41, the hip new associate pastor at West Seminole Mennonite Church, took the stage for his sermon on Judges 19 this Sunday and was shocked by the half-hearted “good morning” he […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Unfazed by Fly on Her Face the Entire Service

October 8, 2020 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Pastor Rebecca Engbrecht, 43, of North Saskatoon Mennonite Church preached through the entire Book of Lamentations this past Sunday without even noticing there was a fly on her forehead the entire time. “Wow, […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Minister Excommunicates Entire Congregation

October 7, 2020 Andrew

NUMIDIA, PA Minister Miller of West Side Numidia Mennonite Church has been excommunicating an errant couple every week for the past three years and just this Sunday he realized that he was the only one […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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