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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Shortens Sermons to 90 Minutes for the Summer Months

April 22, 2021 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Pastor Pete of North Southside Mennonite has graciously decided to shorten his sermons to a more tolerable 90 to 120 minutes for the summer months. “Hey, I know how it is in the […]

Unger Suspicion

Edmonton Area Pastor Sworn in as New Alberta Health Minister

April 13, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Alberta’s most popular and respected minister of religion has been given a new title: Minister of Health. “It was only natural that we appoint this recently jailed man as Minister of Health,” said […]

Unger Conviction

Breaking! Pastor Dan’s Been Getting All His Insights from the Footnotes in His ‘Ryrie Study Bible’

April 8, 2021 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Drone footage hovering above the pulpit this week has revealed that Pastor Dan’s been getting all this spiritual insights from the footnotes in his Ryrie Study Bible. “I feel we’ve been duped. From […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Career Fair Offers Two Options: Preacher or Farmer

January 27, 2021 Andrew

LINDEN, AB The Mennonite Career Fair of Southern Alberta met in Linden this week to offer graduating students a wide range of job options: preacher or, even, farmer. “First we get the young people to […]

Unger Conviction

Congregation Forced to Repeat “Good Morning” Over and Over Until it’s Loud Enough for the Pastor

October 20, 2020 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Darryl Friesen, 41, the hip new associate pastor at West Seminole Mennonite Church, took the stage for his sermon on Judges 19 this Sunday and was shocked by the half-hearted “good morning” he […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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