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pacifism

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Sniper Sets Record for World’s Longest Deliberately-Missed Shot

June 24, 2017 Andrew

MOSUL, IRAQ A Mennonite sniper in Iraq deliberately missed his target more than two miles away, breaking the world record for the longest purposefully-missed sniper shot in military history. “I could have got him, but I just shot above […]

Unger Suspicion

Wonder Woman’s True Identity Revealed as Nice Mennonite Gal from Rosenort

June 1, 2017 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB For years millions of people have puzzled themselves about the true identity of the tiara-wearing woman who rounds up villians with the Lasso of Truth and defends the helpless with the power of her magic bracelets. As it […]

Unger Suspicion

United States Signs $110 Billion Weapons Deal with Random Guy on eBay

May 25, 2017 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC From tanks and planes, to missiles and atomic bombs, the United States Department of Defense recently made billions of dollars worth of high powered military equipment available to “whoever the hell wants them” on Internet […]

Unger Suspicion

Perhaps the Most Important Words Ever Written About War…

April 8, 2017 Andrew

This isn’t satire: “WAR is a racket. It always has been. It is possibly the oldest, easily the most profitable, surely the most vicious. It is the only one international in scope. It is the […]

Unger Suspicion

Pacifist Lions on Verge of Extinction

January 24, 2017 Andrew

KRUGER NP, SOUTH AFRICA According to recent reports by wildlife biologists in South Africa, the population of pacifist lions has been in steady decline over the past few decades. The number of non-resistent lions is […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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