The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

nhl

Unger Games

Dallas Stars Sign Lionel Messi Now that NHL Allows Kicking

May 12, 2025 Andrew

DALLAS, TX Minutes after discovering the NHL has changed its rule and now allows pucks to be kicked into the net, Dallas Stars GM Jim Nill got on the phone with soccer superstar Lionel Messi. […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Scores with 1.6 Seconds Left Sending Sermon into Double Overtime

May 5, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB With just seconds to go in the service, Pastor Karl really laid home a particularly profound point about atonement that really got everyone fired up and eventually sent the sermon into double overtime. […]

Unger Games

Jets Mesmerized By the Big City Sights and Sounds of St. Louis, Population 301,578

April 26, 2025 Andrew

ST. LOUIS, MO It’s long been known that professional athletes are highly susceptible to distractions while on the road. There’s no better example of this than the poor performance of the Winnipeg Jets, who are […]

Unger Games

White House Announces Massive New Tariff on Sydney Crosby

April 11, 2025 Andrew

PITTSBURGH, PA It may have been temporarily paused for now, but this week the White House announced a 87% reciprocal tariff on all penguins, including hockey superstar Sydney Crosby. “Yeah, well I guess this is […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ovechkin Accidentally Passes the Puck

April 1, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC On the verge of breaking the all-time goal-scoring record in the NHL, Alex Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals, accidentally passed the puck last night. “Ugh, an assist,” said Ovechkin. “What the hell am […]

Posts pagination

1 2 … 17 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Man Insists His Beard is Not a Tribute to Fidel Castro
    November 26, 2016
  • “Fearless” Man Refuses to Wear a Mask But Absolutely Petrified to Enter a Grocery Store Without His Gun
    August 25, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman All Out of Candy Already
    October 31, 2022
  • Mennonite Church Celebrates 150 Years of Passive Aggressive Behaviour
    July 3, 2021
  • Guest Gets Totally Lost on the Way to 100 Huntley Street
    May 21, 2017

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved