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Unger Games

Jets Mesmerized By the Big City Sights and Sounds of St. Louis, Population 301,578

April 26, 2025 Andrew

ST. LOUIS, MO It’s long been known that professional athletes are highly susceptible to distractions while on the road. There’s no better example of this than the poor performance of the Winnipeg Jets, who are […]

Unger Games

White House Announces Massive New Tariff on Sydney Crosby

April 11, 2025 Andrew

PITTSBURGH, PA It may have been temporarily paused for now, but this week the White House announced a 87% reciprocal tariff on all penguins, including hockey superstar Sydney Crosby. “Yeah, well I guess this is […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ovechkin Accidentally Passes the Puck

April 1, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC On the verge of breaking the all-time goal-scoring record in the NHL, Alex Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals, accidentally passed the puck last night. “Ugh, an assist,” said Ovechkin. “What the hell am […]

Unger Games

All 82 Jets Games to be Featured on 82 Different Channels Next Season

December 31, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Starting next year, each regular season game of the Winnipeg Jets will be featured on its own channel or streaming service. “Gone are the days when it was all on TSN Jets,” says […]

Unger Games

Blumenort ‘Menno Knights’ Forced to Change Team Name

November 13, 2024 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB 6-time EM Cup champions the Blumenort Menno Knights are no more. This after the label “Mennonite” (or anything close to it) was labelled “offensive” by hockey authorities this week. “We’re going to think […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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