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The Daily Bonnet

Netflix to Crack Down on Mennonites Sharing Passwords

May 6, 2022 Andrew

LOS GATOS, CA After losing more than 200,000 subscribers and millions of dollars last month, streaming service Netflix plans to crack down on the more than 1.5 million Reimers all sharing the same Netflix password. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Thousands of Mennonites are All Sharing the Same Netflix Password

March 31, 2021 Andrew

INMAN, KS A recent investigation had concluded that every single Penner, Friesen, and Funk in the state of Kansas are all sharing the same Netflix account. “It’s believed to have started with Abe Penner of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2020

December 15, 2020 Andrew

Hollywood took quite the hit in 2020 with theatres closed for much of the year. For Mennonites, however, who fear nothing more than to be seen entering a movie theatre, 2020 was a blessing. With […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Self-Isolates After Visit to Jantsied

March 17, 2020 Andrew

DITSIED, MB Mr. Harder of Ditsied is in self-imposed quarantine for the next two weeks after an “international” trip he took to the other side of the river. “I went all the way to Jantsied,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Knipsbrat and Chill???’: Mennonite Woman Receives Late Night Text

April 16, 2019 Andrew

YARROW, BC Helen Poetker, 47, of Yarrow, BC received an unusual text from her on-again off-again boyfriend Heinrich this past week. The text, which was sent sometime after 1 in the morning said, “Been a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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