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Unger Suspicion

MBs Rip Up Supply and Confidence Deal with GCs

September 4, 2024 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In a shocking move this afternoon, Mennonite Brethren leader Jack Siemens pulled out of the agreement keeping the GCs as the most powerful Mennonite denomination in Canada. “We didn’t like how they were […]

Unger the Influence

Mennonites Excited to Finally Have a Wiebe in the Cabinet

October 19, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Wiebes from across Manitoba gathered at various Chicken Chef locations this week to celebrate the ascendancy of Concordia MLA Matt Wiebe to the provincial cabinet. “We’ve had a Goertzen in the cabinet and […]

Unger Suspicion

Liberals and NDP Merge to form “Giant Scary Socialist Robot from Outer Space”

April 6, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON The Canadian government has undergone a transformation this week and is now under the control of a huge ugly socialist robot from outer space. “OMG! Look, it’s Socialist Prime!” tweeted concerned citizen Mr. […]

Unger Suspicion

A Canadian Election Post that is Certain to Please Absolutely Everyone

October 20, 2019 Andrew

So, you’re having trouble figuring out who to vote for, eh? Well, here at the Daily Bonnet we’ve created this helpful tool to get things sorted out for you. If you click on the party […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Confesses to Voting NDP

September 10, 2019 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Local man and former church deacon Mr. Rempel was forced to go up in front of his congregation this week and apologize after it was discovered he had voted NDP in two of […]

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