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Unger Suspicion

McCartney Cancels Show in Mennonite Town Over Lack of Vegetarian Options

July 21, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Legendary musician and notorious veggie-lover Paul McCartney has decided to cancel his upcoming summer concert in Steinbach, citing what he calls “an embarrassing lack of vegetarian options.” “That town is full of Mennonites […]

Unger Conviction

Worship Pastor Fired for Plunging V-Neck Shirt

July 12, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local worship pastor Drake Warkentin-Blatz, 25, was fired this past week after disregarding a set of recommendations regarding his attire, which included refraining from ever wearing a V-neck T-shirt in church again. Warkentin-Blatz […]

The Daily Bonnet

Family Reluctantly Sings Another Verse in German to Please Grandma

July 12, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Relatives at an Ens family gathering this past week reluctantly obliged their 90-year-old matriarch by singing a verse of ‘Holy God, We Praise Thy Name’ in German even though they had already sung […]

Unger Conviction

Church Worship Team Replaced With U2 Cover Band

July 5, 2017 Andrew

WICHITA, KS More than twenty years after they first allowed drums in church, the East Wichita Bible Church (formerly known as East Wichita Mennonite) has decided to replace their regular worship team with a local U2 cover band. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Hippies Mistake Steinbach’s Summer Festival for Woodstock

June 18, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than twenty-thousand dirty hippies descended on Steinbach this weekend for the annual Summer in the City Festival, apparently under the false impression that it was “like the new Woodstock or something.” “I […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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