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Unger Conviction

Eclipse Glasses Recommended for Sunday’s Worship Service

August 22, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Waters of Blessing, an area church well known for its mind-blowing worship hour, is urging parishioners to keep their eclipse glasses and bring them along to this weekend’s service. “We’ve heard your cries for more […]

Unger Suspicion

Twitter Mourns the Loss of Jerry Lee Lewis

August 20, 2017 Andrew

FERRIDAY, LA There was an outpouring of grief for rock and roll legend Jerry Lee Lewis, who, according to reliable sources on Twitter, passed away last night at the age of 91. “The man was […]

Unger Suspicion

Hundreds of Amish Pay Tribute to Glen Campbell by Parading Around Town in Rhinestone Suits

August 9, 2017 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA The moratorium against flashy clothing was temporarily lifted last night as hundreds of Amish men and women took to the streets of Intercourse sporting gaudy rhinestone suits in tribute to the late great country legend […]

Unger Suspicion

McCartney Cancels Show in Mennonite Town Over Lack of Vegetarian Options

July 21, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Legendary musician and notorious veggie-lover Paul McCartney has decided to cancel his upcoming summer concert in Steinbach, citing what he calls “an embarrassing lack of vegetarian options.” “That town is full of Mennonites […]

Unger Conviction

Worship Pastor Fired for Plunging V-Neck Shirt

July 12, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local worship pastor Drake Warkentin-Blatz, 25, was fired this past week after disregarding a set of recommendations regarding his attire, which included refraining from ever wearing a V-neck T-shirt in church again. Warkentin-Blatz […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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