TORONTO, ON After witnessing the incredible healing powers of his touch, hip-hop superstar and NBA megafan Drake has been hired by the Toronto Raptors as official team trajchtmoaka. “It’s a new position for us. Something […]
MANILA, PHILIPPINES In recent days, Malaysia has joined the Philippines in denouncing Canada and demanding that Justin Bieber be returned to North America. “We’re sick and tired of Canada sending us all their unwanted trash,” […]
LANDMARK, MB After experimenting with EDM for the past decade, cousin Peter Friesen has recently become “totally stoked” about Landmark’s burgeoning punk rock scene over the past six months. “This place is the new Seattle,” […]
WINNIPEG, MB Tyson Hendrix-Wiebe, a 22-year-old CMU student, caused quite a stir on social media this week after declaring Hymn 606 to be “like, totally, over-rated.” “All those people who claim they like 606 are […]
KENORA, ON A minor hockey team in Kenora is in tears tonight after the sound guy at the arena forgot to play “We Will Rock You” as the team entered the ice. The team subsequently […]
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