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The Daily Bonnet

Quarantined Mennonite Man Plays Brommtopp from Balcony to Entertain Neighbours

April 13, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Altonites were in for quite the treat yesterday as renowned brommtopper Mr. Hamm stood on the 16th floor balcony of the Altona Manor and serenaded his fellow quarantined neighbours with a delightful performance […]

Unger Suspicion

Blues Albums Seeing a Huge Surge in Sales Right Now

March 30, 2020 Andrew

CHICAGO, IL Things have been so awful the past month or so, that is seems people are turning to music for a little bit of solace. As a result, blues albums have risen to the […]

Unger Suspicion

Bieber Debuts Terrible New Single “Yummy” at the Most Appropriate Venue – His Local Hillsong Church

March 7, 2020 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY After proudly recording what is probably the worst song in pop music history, Justin Bieber, sporting a pink hoodie and neck tattoos, decided the most appropriate place to debut “Yummy” was at […]

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift is Unrecognizable in Music Video for ‘The Menno’

February 28, 2020 Andrew

READING, PA Taylor Swift’s small town Pennsylvania roots are finally on display in her new music video ‘The Menno’, which features the 30-year-old pop sensation, through a combination of Hollywood makeup and cutting edge CGI, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Tabloid Reports Corny Rempel Sightings at Local Gas Station

February 18, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It seems that Southeast Manitoba’s most persistent conspiracy theory will never fade away, as yet another wave of Corny Rempel sightings has captured the attention of Hanover residents. “I’m always keeping my eyes […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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