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music

Unger Suspicion

Bieber Debuts Terrible New Single “Yummy” at the Most Appropriate Venue – His Local Hillsong Church

March 7, 2020 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY After proudly recording what is probably the worst song in pop music history, Justin Bieber, sporting a pink hoodie and neck tattoos, decided the most appropriate place to debut “Yummy” was at […]

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift is Unrecognizable in Music Video for ‘The Menno’

February 28, 2020 Andrew

READING, PA Taylor Swift’s small town Pennsylvania roots are finally on display in her new music video ‘The Menno’, which features the 30-year-old pop sensation, through a combination of Hollywood makeup and cutting edge CGI, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Tabloid Reports Corny Rempel Sightings at Local Gas Station

February 18, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It seems that Southeast Manitoba’s most persistent conspiracy theory will never fade away, as yet another wave of Corny Rempel sightings has captured the attention of Hanover residents. “I’m always keeping my eyes […]

Unger Games

Modestly Attired Mennonite Women to Perform at Next Year’s Super Bowl Halftime Show

February 6, 2020 Andrew

TAMPA, FL After millions of Mennonites turned off their television sets (if they had them) and washed their eyes out with soap at this year’s Super Bowl, the NFL has announced that a choir of […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church to Host First Annual ‘Quiet in the Land’ Death Metal Festival

January 15, 2020 Andrew

ELKHART, IN In an effort to attract young people to church, the South Elkhart Mennonite Church is planning a death metal concert to be held in the church parking lot this summer. “In keeping with […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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