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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Invests Entire Life Savings in Pink Stanleys

January 19, 2024 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Area woman Cathy Kornelsen, 34, has cashed out her mutual funds and put it all into pink Stanleys and Yetis. “Someday my grandkids will inherit these,” said Kornelsen of her water bottle collection. […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor to Defer $6800 Per Year in Unusual Arrangement with Local Mennonite Church

December 14, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Free agent pastor Sharon O. Broesky, a two-way minister who can preach as well as she can baptize, was a hot commodity on the pastoral market this fall and has just inked an […]

Unger Suspicion

Royal Canadian Mint Brings Back the Penny Just to Have Some Place to Put King Charles

November 14, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It seems the long-forgotten penny is of some use after all. This afternoon, the Royal Canadian Mint announced they’d be bringing back the one-cent coin just so they’d have some place to put […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Buys Out Last Year of Pastor’s $40,000 Contract

June 30, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Abe Wieler, 36-year-old former pastor and floor hockey coach of Southeast Winnipeg Mennonite, will not be returning to captain the church next year after the church bought out his contract. “It’s going to […]

Unger Suspicion

What a $5 Million House Looks Like in Toronto

June 25, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON With interest rates rising and the housing market starting to cool, realtors are now calling it a buyer’s market. Nowhere is this more evident than in Toronto where a mere $5 million will […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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