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mcdonalds

Unger Suspicion

Team of Industrious Amish Hired to Fix McDonald’s Ice Cream Machine

May 10, 2025 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA After millions of complaints from customers, McDonald’s has finally found a solution to the broken ice cream machine problem that has plagued their restaurants across the country – hiring the Amish. “Actually, we’re […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man’s Been Using the Same McDonald’s Cup for the Past 15 Years

March 5, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Frank Fehr, 72, has been using the very same McDonald’s cup for the past fifteen years, all under the assumption that he can get free refills all he wants. “I haven’t […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonalds Takes McRib Off the Menu Just Long Enough for People to Forget How Terrible It Is

March 6, 2024 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Millions of Canadians have lined up outside of McDonalds restaurants this winter for the return of a sandwich they’ve been told is not nearly as bad as they remember. “Yikes, I lined up […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Creates His Own ‘Stanley Cup’

January 13, 2024 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Area man Stanley Wolgemuth is capitalizing on the Stanley cup craze by creating one of his own … using only a McDonald’s paper cup, some masking tape, and a little bit of ingenuity. […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonald’s Installs New Extra Uncomfortable Furniture to Prevent Mennonite Men from Sitting Around All Day Drinking Coffee

January 7, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area man Albert Plett, 51, smashed the record at his local McDonald’s restaurant this week by becoming the first person ever to make it through five McNuggets and a handful of fries without […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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