SCHLAMMFELD, MB Local communists have declared complete and total victory over the resistant kulaks this week after successfully convincing some guy named Darryl from Schlammfeld to put on a mask. “At last, with this final […]
STEINBACH, MB A well-publicized anti-mask rally took place in Steinbach today. The rally featured speakers from across Manitoba, including two pastors, one chiropractor, a reeve, and a partridge in a pear tree. The rally was […]
BLUMENSTEIN, MB Webster’s Dictionary has just announced a list of wacky new words for 2020 including “permaculture”, “freegan”, “awesomesauce”, and “mandatory”, and defines the latter as “like totally optional, whatever man.” “We’re very pragmatic in […]
STEINBACH, MB Fogged-up glasses have one advantage in the Mennonite town of Steinbach – they make it absolutely impossible to recognize anyone in the liquor store. “Not only do the masks obscure your face, but […]
ROSENORT, MB Mrs. Thiessen, 73, of Rosenort is renowned throughout the Scratching River Settlement for her tremendous ability to “do more with less.” This includes using the very same cheap disposable face mask her son […]
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