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low german

Unger Suspicion

Pat Sajak to be Replaced with Mennonite Man who Only Knows Plautdietsch

June 12, 2024 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After more than four decades in southern California, the popular game show Wheel of Fortune will be moving north to Fresno this week where the new host will be none other than Willy […]

The Daily Bonnet

High German Mennonite Claims He’s Not Actually All That High

May 18, 2024 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Sam Toews, 51, of Morden, Manitoba says he’s sick and tried of all his Plautdietsch-speaking friends in Winkler accusing him of being high all the time. “They’re always asking me what’s in the […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Child Learns Whole New Vocabulary While Dad is Watching the Jets Game

April 28, 2024 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Area child Jeremy Klassen, 7, has expanded his Plautdietsch vocabulary tenfold this afternoon while his father Sam, 39, watched yet another abysmal performance by the Winnipeg Jets.  “Daddy, what does Schinda mean?” wondered […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Just Realized that the Last Day of 2023 Will be ‘Eent Twee Dree Eent Twee Dree’

December 30, 2023 Andrew

SPANISH LOOKOUT, BELIZE Mennonites across the Internet were amazed this week when it dawned on them, via various memes, that the last day of 2023 will be eent twee dree eent twee dree. “Jauma, I […]

Unger Games

‘O Canada’ Performed in Low German Before Jets Game

December 18, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Cheers erupted in Winkler this evening as, for the first time in NHL history, the Canadian national anthem was performed in the Mennonite dialect of Low German. “I’m used to this at Winkler […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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