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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finally Finishes ‘Peace Shall Destroy Many’

May 18, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Ron Wall, 59, has finally finished reading Rudy Wiebe’s Peace Shall Destroy Many, which has been sitting on his nightstand since the late 70s. “I’m not much of a reader,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Missing CMU Student Discovered Beneath a Mountain of Hauerwas Books

April 4, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After an extensive nationwide search, CMU Theology student Brian Schmidt was discovered unconscious this past Friday in his dorm room beneath an enormous pile of Stanley Hauerwas books. “Brian’s recovering at the local hospital,” said his […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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