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Unger Suspicion

Justin Trudeau Confuses Yerba Mate for Marijuana

August 12, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB On a recent visit to the small Mennonite city of Steinbach, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who was elected last fall on a promise to legalize marijuana, mistook a yerba mate gourd offered to him […]

Unger & Thirst

New Steinbach Craft Brewer Forced By Law to Make Root Beer

August 6, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB As increasing numbers of people around the world abandon the flavourless swill produced by the large brewing companies, closet Mennonite drinkers, too, have been embracing smaller locally made craft beer. Steinbach, Manitoba, for […]

The Daily Bonnet

Divorced Mennonites Remain Cousins, Legal Expert Says

August 2, 2016 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA Settling an age-old question that had baffled legal scholars for centuries, renowned barrister and American law expert Aganetha L. Schneider of Harrisonburg claims there’s no longer any room for debate when it comes to Mennonite […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Policy Seen as an ‘Attack’ on Traditional Mennonite Cousin-Marriage

June 7, 2016 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In 2005, the Liberal government of Canada changed the definition of marriage. At the time this was viewed by some as a “vicious attack” on the Mennonite tradition of marrying your own cousin. In recent years, […]

Unger Suspicion

Battle Erupts in Winkler Over Prince’s Estate

May 23, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Dozens of Mennonites throughout the Pembina Valley are desperately scouring their ancestry books to find a relation to recently departed musician Prince. “I had never heard of him before, but I just know […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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