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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Charged With Adding an ‘S’ to the End of Every Word

May 9, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Longtime Steinbach resident Peter Fehr, 76, has been arrested and charged with excessive ‘S’ usage after undercover police overhead him referring to the neighbouring town of Ste-Anne, Manitoba as ‘Ste-Annes’ on numerous occasions. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Apple Introduces New Siri Voice with Mennonite Accent

January 15, 2018 Andrew

CUPERTINO, CA Recent changes to Apple’s Siri and Maps mean that Mennonites across the Americas will have the chance to receive directions to the nearest Chicken Chef in a comforting Plautdietsch accent. Starting January 15, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ten Terms No One Knows the Plautdietsch Word For

January 5, 2018 Andrew

After a year-and-a-half of writing the Daily Bonnet, my knowledge of Mennonite Low German continues to grow. I’ve got Herman Rempel’s dictionary, I’ve consulted various online resources, and I constantly pester my Plautdietsch-speaking friends for […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Parents Use Low German Code Language During Holiday Season

December 19, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Parents across southeast Manitoba have been speaking nonstop Plautdietsch this December in order to keep Bethany and Ethan from finding out what they’re getting for Christmas. “It’s great, we can jerad and mulwoakjs all […]

Unger Suspicion

A Glossary of Pennsylvania Dutch Profanity

November 22, 2017 Andrew

Believe it or not, there are times when even the Amish and Swiss Mennonites get frustrated. The wind might wreak havoc on your barn-raising plans, or Elder Hershberger might interfere with your courtship of Maria […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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