MARANELLO, IT Prestigious Italian automaker Ferrari has banned Kjnels Wiebe of Taber, Alberta from buying any more cars after he “totally wrecked the aesthetic of the whole thing.” “You should see the spoiler he put […]
HAMILTON, ON Fresh off the heals of their Justin Bieber collaboration, donut manufacturer Tim Hortons has decided to make sweet tasty balls with the second most legendary Canadian musician they could find, Gordon Lightfoot. “I […]
OAKVILLE, ON Justin Wiebe, 23, of London, Ontario has just signed a lucrative $8,000,000 contract to design Mennonite-inspired Timbits and other products for Timmies locations across Canada. “They approached me in the MB lot after […]
NEW YORK, NY After proudly recording what is probably the worst song in pop music history, Justin Bieber, sporting a pink hoodie and neck tattoos, decided the most appropriate place to debut “Yummy” was at […]
MANILA, PHILIPPINES In recent days, Malaysia has joined the Philippines in denouncing Canada and demanding that Justin Bieber be returned to North America. “We’re sick and tired of Canada sending us all their unwanted trash,” […]
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