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The Daily Bonnet

Tractor Trek Takes Wrong Turn and Ends Up in Downtown Winnipeg

June 9, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Several bags of distracting knackzoat and a couple wrong turns later and the annual Tractor Trek found itself right in the heart of downtown Winnipeg. “I’ve never seen that many Massey Fergusons on […]

Daily Bonnet

New Holland Owner Way Ahead on His Spring Seeding this Year

June 1, 2023 Andrew

RANDOLPH, MB While the rest of his buddies have just finished their spring seeding this year, area man and proud New Holland owner Dwayne Funk is, apparently, already bringing in his first harvest. “Oh, I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Paints His Massey Ferguson Green and Yellow

July 25, 2019 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Local farmer and bachelor Peter Miller, 27, gave his bright red Massey Ferguson a quick green and yellow paint job this past weekend in order to seduce one of the Smucker sisters, who […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Sells His Toronto Raptors Seat to Buy $400,000 Combine

May 28, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON It was an offer he couldn’t refuse. When Mr. Wiens was offered almost half a million dollars for his court-side seat to Thursday’s game one of the NBA Finals in Toronto, it was […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Excommunicated for Switching to John Deere

March 27, 2017 Andrew

WARMAN, SK Local flax grower, Dwight Schultz, was excommunicated from the MEMC Church this past Sunday after he refused to submit to church authority and replace his John Deere tractor with a Massey Ferguson. “We […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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