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jazz

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Starts Innovative New Jazz Label ‘EMC Records’ Guaranteed to Have No Sax

January 8, 2024 Andrew

GDANSK, POLAND Local jazz enthusiast Manfred Engbrecht has just launched a brand new record label called “EMC Records”, with a mandate to produce innovative jazz recordings without any sax. “We want to create jazz that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Caught Listening to Charlie Brown Christmas Album

December 9, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB A stash of secular records were discovered under Garth Wiebe’s mattress this week, after a tip by prying neighbours led to a raid of the premises by church elders. “As you know, we […]

Unger Suspicion

Taco Bell Purchases John Coltrane Catalogue for $200 Million

July 13, 2022 Andrew

IRVINE, CA In an effort to attract a more sophisticated audience, fast food giant Taco Bell is in talks to purchase the music catalogues of jazz legends Bill Evans, Charles Mingus, and John Coltrane. “A […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Storms Out of Jazz Club, Claiming “Far Too Much Sax”

November 16, 2017 Andrew

YARROW, BC Local man Peter Harder, 67, was so disgusted with a jazz performance in Vancouver this weekend that he stood up right in the middle of ‘St. Thomas’ and stormed out in a huff. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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