The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

ice cream pails

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman’s Sour Cream Container Shockingly Contains Sour Cream

January 6, 2024 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mrs. Nettie Rogalsky of Saskatoon shocked fellow residents at Menno Dreams Retirement Home this week after it was revealed that all the sour cream containers in her freezer contained, well, sour cream. “I’ve […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman’s Ice Cream Pails Full of Cash Completely Unaffected By Banking Crisis

March 21, 2023 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Unlike a significant number of her contemporaries, Mrs. Broesky of Linden, Alberta was completely unconcerned this week about the banking crisis south of the border. “Oba, I was getting messages on the WhatsApp […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Amasses World’s Largest Collection of Plastic Bags

July 19, 2022 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Area woman Doris Froese has been collecting plastic bags from the grocery store since they were first introduced in the mid-1980s. “And I’ve never thrown out a single one,” said Froese. “They’re super […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Denied Boarding for Carrying Two Ice Cream Pails of Jreewe

June 6, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mrs. Deirdre Giesbrecht was denied boarding of JantsiedJet Flight 606 this afternoon after her ice cream pails full of cracklings were declared a “liquid” and therefore not suitable for carry-on luggage. “Oba nay! […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Consumes 4L of Ice Cream Just for the Pail

July 3, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Braun was so desperate for a fresh used ice cream pail that she downed four litres of Foremost chocolate ice cream in one epic evening. “I was looking at my collection of […]

Posts pagination

1 2 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Southern Baptists Expel Rick Warren for Floral-Patterned Shirt and Lack of Necktie
    June 18, 2023
  • Mennonites Dump Gallons of Yerba Tea into Chicago River
    March 17, 2019
  • Canadians Excited for the Arrival of Beige Season, the Most Beautiful Time of Year
    March 22, 2025
  • Mennonite Couple Sits Through 3.5 Hours of Avatar But Can’t Handle 20 Minute Sermon
    January 28, 2023
  • Mennonite Woman Challenges Marie Kondo to Cleaning Competition
    February 17, 2019

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved