WINKLER, MB A new Abes treatment centre has opened up on the highway between Morden and Winkler. The hope is that convenient access to medical help will prevent Abes from spreading beyond the Pembina Valley. […]
LA CRETE, AB Local man Herman Fast has denied accusations made by church authorities that his rotund belly is the result of drinking large quantities of beer, claiming that it is due solely to the […]
LANCASTER, PA Scientists at the Center for Mennonite Health in Lancaster, Pennsylvania have estimated that the collective weight of Mennonites on planet Earth reached 420 million pounds during the 2016 holiday season, an increase of […]
KLEEFELD, MB Local woman Mrs. Helen F. Gerbrandt, 76, of the Kleefeld area was hospitalized yesterday after consuming more than thirty Mandarin oranges in a single sitting. “She’s got way too much Vitamin C in her body,” […]
GRUNTHAL, MB The annual living nativity was brought to a standstill last night after the young infant playing baby Jesus just didn’t stop crying. The incessant crying was so disruptive that the braying donkeys could scarcely […]
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