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health

Unger Suspicion

British Columbian Freezes to Death Within Minutes of Arriving in Winnipeg

January 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. Mark Thiessen of Chilliwack froze to death after walking a hundred metres from the airport terminal to his rental car this weekend. Police found his frozen corpse, with his debit card in […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite CPAP Machine Provides Continuous Flow of Schmaunt Fat

January 10, 2018 Andrew

HERBERT, SK Cardiologists in the small town of Herbert, Saskatchewan are testing out a new CPAP machine that would provide Mennonites with a continuous flow of schmaunt fat while they sleep. Local man Dale Broesky […]

The Daily Bonnet

Breaking an Arm While Sledding a Hiebert Family Tradition

January 8, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For almost four decades, the Hieberts of Steinbach have made an annual trip to Abe’s Hill to toboggan and break arms together as a family. This year was little Dylan’s first trip to […]

The Daily Bonnet

A Gallery of Hilarious Mennonite Gravestones

January 1, 2018 Andrew

One of the best ways to learn about your history and heritage is to take a walk through one of the local cemeteries. You may be shocked at what you find. Here are some of […]

Unger Conviction

Man Escapes Mennonite Section of Heaven, Shocked at What He Finds

December 30, 2017 Andrew

HEAVEN Mr. Abe Penner passed away in January 1968 and, for almost fifty years, had been living a quiet peaceful existence in the Mennonite section of Heaven, blissfully unaware of the vast expanse of Paradise […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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