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health

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Hospitals Overrun With Jets-Related Heart Attacks

May 2, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a narrow defeat in double overtime on Sunday, followed by a come-from-way-behind victory on Tuesday, Winnipeg hospitals are now filled to the brim with Jets-induced heart attack victims. “If this keeps up, […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Asks for Standing Desk, Told He Already Has One

April 30, 2018 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Fresh out of seminary, Pastor Dave was really excited about his new Associate Pastor position at East Mennonite until he discovered first hand just how frugal the church board can be. Dave was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fight the Seven Signs of Mennonite Aging

April 9, 2018 Andrew

We all change as we get older, but that doesn’t mean you have to become your parents. Here are the Daily Bonnet, we’re committed to helping you identify and fight the seven signs of aging…for […]

Unger & Thirst

Rhubarb-Flavoured Vaping All the Rage in Mennonite Country

March 23, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mennonites across the Pembina Valley have been swapping out their cigarettes and yerba tea for rhubarb-flavoured e-cigarettes. Health officials, however, worry the trend might catch on with non-smokers as well. “Oba, when they […]

Unger & Thirst

Raw Farmer Sausage and Vinegar: A Daily Bonnet Recipe

March 3, 2018 Andrew

Whether planning a fancy wedding reception this summer or just a cocktail party at the lake house, you’re going to want to have hors d’oeuvres that leave an impression. Although it takes considerable time and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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