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health

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Demands Quackery be Covered By Provincial Health Insurance

November 26, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local woman Mrs. Dueck, 57, of North Kildonan has racked up more than $15,000 over the past couple years in quackery bills and says it’s time the provincial government covers the cost. “They […]

Unger Suspicion

Entire Province of Manitoba to Call in Sick Tomorrow

November 24, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After the Winnipeg Blue Bombers ended a 29 year drought and won the 2019 Grey Cup on Sunday, not a single person in the entire province of Manitoba plans to show up to […]

Unger & Thirst

Feds to Open Forty New Safe Schmaunt Fat Injection Sites

November 21, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON The federal government just announced this week a plan to open up more than forty supervised injection sites in Mennonite communities around the country. “We’re going to provide people with cottage cheese and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Seniors Destroy Team of Youngsters on Pickleball Court

September 26, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The team of Peter Heppner, 78, and Lois Brandt, 81, totally destroyed some young novices on the pickleball court at the Seniors Centre this week. “No one beats a Mennonite senior at pickleball,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Morden and Winkler Tired of Having to Share a Hospital

September 16, 2019 Andrew

HALFWAY BETWEEN MORDEN AND WINKLER, MB Mr. Penner of Winkler was mighty upset this week after he found out he had to share a hospital room with that Mr. Sawatzky from Morden. “Ugh, a Mordener […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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