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Unger Conviction

Area Church Seemingly Doesn’t Realize that God is Not Confined to a Parking Lot

November 29, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB During their services this morning, one church group in Winnipeg and another one on a dirt road in the RM of Hanover have decided to shatter thousands of years of Christian teaching regarding […]

Unger Suspicion

Etobicoke Eager to Become the New Steinbach

November 28, 2020 Andrew

ETOBICOKE, ON With barbecue joints defying health orders and hundreds of partiers caught not social distancing in a storage locker, the community of Etobicoke, Ontario is eagerly seeking to dethrone Steinbach, Manitoba as the “Covid […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Trajchtmoakas Demand the Right to be Called “Doctors”

November 25, 2020 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB The local Knipsers and Knibblers Union 606 of La Crete is petitioning the Province of Alberta to have Mennonite folk chiropractors (known colloquially as “trajchtmoakas“) classified as “doctors.” “Oba, those medical doctors […]

Unger Suspicion

Communist Takeover Complete After Local Man is Politely Asked to Put on a Mask

November 20, 2020 Andrew

SCHLAMMFELD, MB Local communists have declared complete and total victory over the resistant kulaks this week after successfully convincing some guy named Darryl from Schlammfeld to put on a mask. “At last, with this final […]

The Daily Bonnet

Typo Leads to Confusion at Local Store

November 19, 2020 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Customers entering Dueck Sausage Emporium in Swift Current this week were greeted with a friendly message to “satanize” their hands before entry. “Diewel, I knew things were bad, but this is getting […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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