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Unger the Influence

Mennonites Worried Trudeau is Trying to Seize their Buns

February 18, 2023 Andrew

VANKLA, MB Mennonites across southern Manitoba have been greatly distressed over the past few months upon hearing the news that Trudeau is planning to take away their buns. “Ach! That Trudeau! This is exactly what […]

Unger Suspicion

In Solidarity with Lisa LaFlamme, Restaurant to Put One Grey Hair in Every Bowl of Chili

August 26, 2022 Andrew

ETOBICOKE, ON In an act of incredible bravery and profound solidarity with recently ousted CTV anchor Lisa LaFlamme, one local restaurant will be replacing the occasional brown or blonde hair in their famous bowls of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Wins National Curling Championship

March 1, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Mary Dueck, 58, of La Crete, Alberta has taken home the 2021 Canadian Women’s Curling Championship by successfully leaving a set of ten pink plastic rollers on her head for a record six […]

Unger Games

NHL Says 11 Players Have Tested Positive for Mullets

June 19, 2020 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY The 2020 NHL season is in grave doubt this week after the league announced that 11 players have already tested positive for mullets. “After reopening arenas and practice facilities on June 8, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Claims to be Man to Get Cheaper Haircut

December 5, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Taunte Lina waltzed into her local Snips ‘n Go salon this past Tuesday for her weekly haircut, only this time things were a little different when she went to the till to pay. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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