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grandma

The Daily Bonnet

Dating Mennonite Couple Go Over to Grandma’s to Make Sure They’re Not Too Closely Related

July 17, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENORT, SK Emily Wiebe, 20, and Patrick Penner, 19, have been dating since they first met in period 5 History a couple years ago. Now things are getting serious and they decided they better pay […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Takes Three Hours Between Scrabble Moves

March 6, 2020 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK The Scrabble match between Mrs. Ens and Mrs. Thiessen at the Rosthern Manor this week has taken much longer than expected due to Mrs. Thiessen’s insistence on poring through the dictionary to find […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Grandma Disappoints Children with Honest Birthday Cards

February 16, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Doerksen, 81, of Altona has decided to cut to the chase for birthdays this year and write in big bold letters on the outside of each envelope, “No money enclosed.” “I don’t […]

Unger & Thirst

Mysterious Jars in Cellar Turn Out to Contain Oma’s Delicious Green Bean Soup

November 30, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB The Penners of Blumenort were excited to discover a huge collection of Oma’s delicious Jreen Schaubel Sup in the cellar this past week. The green bean soup had apparently been in there since the […]

Unger & Thirst

Everyone’s Grandma is the Very Best Cook in the Entire World

August 30, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON A report out of the University of Kitchener this week confirms what everyone knew all along that their own grandma is the “very best cook in the entire world.” “We tested the cooking […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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