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Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Replaces All Winnipeg Emergency Rooms With This One Bungalow in Transcona

July 12, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The provincial government recently announced an exciting new plan to shut down all Winnipeg emergency rooms and move them to this old “fixer-upper” they found in Transcona. “Let me tell you, this bungalow […]

Unger Suspicion

Embarrassed Manitoba Premier Seeks Treatment for Premature Election

June 19, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Yes, men, it happens to everybody. Even the Premier of Manitoba. Once thought to have the “strength and stamina of a mule,” this week Premier Pallister suffered an embarrassing bout of premature election. […]

Unger Suspicion

Seven Ways the Canadian Senate is Just Like Your Mennonite Elder Board

June 9, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Ahh, the Canadian Senate, a collection of old irrelevant out-of-touch people who somehow have the power to make decisions around here…oh, wait, are we talking about the elder board? Well, there are some […]

The Daily Bonnet

Humble Mennonites Really Proud to Finally Have Their Own Week

June 7, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In a near unanimous vote on May 29, the government of Canada announced the creation of a new week to honour the nation’s most proud humble residents, the Mennonites. “Not to brag or […]

Unger Suspicion

Vinegar Feeling ‘Severely Neglected’ as Jason Kenney Spends All His Time on Oil

June 1, 2019 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Representatives from the vinegar industry are feeling pretty darn neglected as Alberta Premier Jason Kenney seems to be spending all his time defending oil. “He’s just oil this and oil that. I get […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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